The Colbert Report on Pink Slime and Super PACs

MONDAY (April 3, 2012)
It’s a new week, and Stephen Colbert’s mind turns to thoughts of government regulation. This includes air pollution and food pollution.

Everybody knows, liberals have a long history of slandering good American industries with hurtful names. Sure, these days everybody hates “air pollution”, but when I was a kid, we celebrated it as “bonus clouds”.

I say, far from a chemical-soaked reconstituted hoof-and-organ slurry, pink slime is actually a delicious, wholesome meal you’d want to share with a friend. Specifically, your best friend because up until 2001, it was used only in dog food, which begs the question “What are we feeding our dogs now and when do I get to eat it?”

TUESDAY (April 3, 2012)
I’m very glad that Colbert is not letting up in his fight to keep the spotlight on Super PACs. There may be nothing more damaging to our nation than the lack of regulation when it comes to buying policy decisions from politicians, and nothing worthier of parody.

I didn’t realize that Colbert has a second Super PAC, Colbert Super PAC Shh!

So named because it can raise shh*tloads of money! And, it never has to disclose its donors, because it is a quasi-charitable organization called a 501c4. Now, critics say groups like mine are unregistered money guns, shooting up the election with untraceable political slush funds, to which I say — uh-huh.

Colbert also mocks Karl Rove because Rove compares his attempts to cover up for conservatives who pull the levers of power in this country, with the previous desire of minority organizations such as the NAACP fighting on behalf of disenfranchised minorities.

Colbert invites his lawyer (and ex-FEC chair) Trevor Potter to the show. Together, they point out how that the current rules regulating disclosure are fairly toothless.

POTTER: We took a careful look at the law and realized that you do not have to file anything with the IRS until after the election.

COLBERT: So when I formed my 501c4, Colbert Super PAC Shh!, we didn’t tell the IRS that we were in existence or what we’d be doing with the money…until after it doesn’t matter any more?

POTTER: Right.

Another thank you we can give to the activist conservative justices on the Supreme Court, for going out of their way to make sure that democracy isn’t sullied by equitable access to political speech.