Ballade of Bush v. Gore

Since Justice Scalia has brought Bush v. Gore back into the news, I’ll dust off an old poem about it, inspired by the following part of that 5-4 Supreme Court decision:

Because it is evident that any recount seeking to meet the December 12 date will be unconstitutional…, we reverse the judgment of the Supreme Court of Florida ordering a recount to proceed.

Image via Wikipedia

For the wise Supreme Court, which the nation reveres,
For the justices, given the charge to restore
Our respect for and faith in our system, three cheers!
They’ve put all speculation to rest evermore:
It’s hello to George W., ‘bye ‘bye Al Gore!
And the crux, which the court’s sage majority notes,
Is an argument nobody’d thought of before:
There’s just not enough time to count all the votes.

We’ve got time for campaigns lasting two solid years,
For political fundraisers, spending galore,
Time for posters and mailings and mutual smears,
Time for polls by the hundreds to update the score,
Time for speeches and handshakes and babies, and for
Staged conventions, endorsements and sound bites and quotes,
Time for empty debates, foolish pundits, and more–
But there’s not enough time to count all the votes.

From the world’s greatest power, that always adheres
To the highest of standards (which make us deplore
Those elections in places we send volunteers
To observe and adjudge and prevent civil war,
Making sure petty tyrants don’t try to ignore
People’s voices) this ruling the justices wrote’s
A refreshing new look which illumines the core:
There is not always time to count all the votes.

So let’s start the campaign for 2004,
‘Cause the current one leaves a bad taste in our throats;
There were parts that were fun, but the math is a bore,
And there’s not enough time to count all the votes.

SEE ALSO
polentical: Antonin Scalia Falls Flat on Facts and Substance